The One Where Monica Gets a New Roommate part5
[Scene: Iridium, Monica is working as Frannie enters.]
Frannie:
- Hey, Monica!
Monica:
- Hey Frannie, welcome back! How was Florida?
Frannie:
- You had sex, didn't you?
Monica:
- How do you do that?
Frannie:
- Oh, I hate you, I'm pushing my aunt Roz through Parrot Jungle
- and you're having sex! So? Who?
Monica:
- You know Paul?
Frannie:
- Paul the Wine Guy? Oh yeah, I know Paul.
Monica:
- You mean you know Paul like I know Paul?
Frannie:
- Are you kidding? I take credit for Paul.
-> Paul 現在都是我的功勞
- Y'know before me, there was no snap in his turtle for two years.
-> turtle : 引申為男性生殖器
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Rachel is there.]
Joey: (sitting on the arm of the couch)
- Of course it was a line!
-> line : 這邊意思為表演台詞
Monica:
- Why?! Why? Why,
- why would anybody do something like that?
Ross:
- I assume we're looking for an answer
- more sophisticated than 'to get you into bed'.
Monica:
- I hate men! I hate men!
Phoebe:
- Oh no, don't hate, you don't want to put that out into the universe.
Monica:
- Is it me? Is it like I have some sort of beacon
- that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear?
Phoebe:
- All right, c'mere, gimme your feet.
(She starts massaging them.)
Monica:
- I just thought he was nice, y'know?
Joey: (bursts out laughing again)
- I can't believe you didn't know it was a line!
(Monica pushes him off of the sofa as Rachel enters with a shopping bag.)
Rachel:
- Guess what?
Ross:
- You got a job?
Rachel:
- Are you kidding? I'm trained for nothing!
- I was laughed out of twelve interviews today.
Chandler:
- And yet you're surprisingly upbeat.
Rachel:
- You would be too if you found John and David boots on sale, fifty percent off!
Chandler:
- Oh, how well you know me...
Rachel:
- They're my new
- 'I don't need a job, I don't need my parents, I've got great boots' boots!
Monica:
- How'd you pay for them?
Rachel:
- Uh, credit card.
Monica:
- And who pays for that?
Rachel:
- Um... my... father.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is sitting around the kitchen table. Rachel's credit cards are spread out on the table along with a pair of scissors.]
Rachel:
- Oh God, come on you guys, is this really necessary?
- I mean, I can stop charging anytime I want.
Monica:
- C'mon, you can't live off your parents your whole life.
Rachel:
- I know that. That's why I was getting married.
Phoebe:
- Give her a break, it's hard being on your own for the first time.
Rachel:
- Thank you.
Phoebe:
- You're welcome. I remember when I first came to this city.
- I was fourteen. My mom had just killed herself
- and my step-dad was back in prison, and I got here, and I didn't know anybody.
- And I ended up living with this albino guy who was,
- like, cleaning windshields outside port authority,
- and then he killed himself, and then I found aromatherapy.
- So believe me, I know exactly how you feel.
(Pause)
Ross:
- The word you're looking for is 'Anyway'...
Monica:
- All right, you ready?
Rachel:
- No. No, no, I'm not ready! How can I be ready?
- "Hey, Rach! You ready to jump out the airplane without your parachute?"
- Come on, I can't do this!
Monica:
- You can, I know you can!
Rachel:
- I don't think so.
Ross:
- Come on, you made coffee! You can do anything!
(Chandler slowly tries to hide the now dead plant from that morning when he and Joey poured their coffee into it.)
Ross:
- C'mon, cut. Cut, cut, cut,...
All:
- Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut...
(She cuts one of them and they cheer.)
Rachel:
- Y'know what?
- I think we can just leave it at that. It's kinda like a symbolic gesture...
Monica:
- Rachel! That was a library card!
All:
- Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut..
Chandler: (as Rachel is cutting up her cards)
- Y'know, if you listen closely, you can hear a thousand retailers scream.
(She finishes cutting them up and they all cheer.)
Monica:
- Welcome to the real world! It sucks. You're gonna love it!
[Time Lapse, Rachel and Ross are watching a TV channel finishes it's broadcast day by playing the national anthem.]
Monica:
- Well, that's it
(To Ross)
- You gonna crash on the couch?
Ross:
- No. No, I gotta go home sometime.
Monica:
- You be okay?
Ross:
- Yeah.
Rachel:
- Hey Mon, look what I just found on the floor.
(Monica smiles.)
- What?
Monica:
- That's Paul's watch. You just put it back where you found it.
- Oh boy. Alright. Goodnight, everybody.
Ross and Rachel:
- Goodnight.
(Monica stomps on Paul's watch and goes into her room.)
Ross:
- Mmm.
(They both reach for the last cookie)
- Oh, no-
Rachel:
- Sorry-
Ross:
- No no no, go-
Rachel:
- No, you have it, really, I don't want it-
Ross:
- Split it?
Rachel:
- Okay.
Ross:
- Okay.
(They split it.)
- You know you probably didn't know this, but back in high school,
- I had a, um, major crush on you.
Rachel:
- I knew.
Ross:
- You did! Oh....
- I always figured you just thought I was Monica's geeky older brother.
Rachel:
- I did.
Ross:
- Oh. Listen, do you think- and try not to let my intense vulnerability
- become any kind of a factor here-
- but do you think it would be okay if I asked you out? Sometime?
- Maybe?
Rachel:
- Yeah, maybe...
Ross:
- Okay... okay, maybe I will...
Rachel:
- Goodnight.
Ross:
- Goodnight.
(Rachel goes into her room and Monica enters the living room as Ross is leaving.)
Monica:
- See ya.... Wait wait, what's with you?
Ross:
- I just grabbed a spoon.
(Ross exits and Monica has no idea what that means.)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there.]
Joey:
- I can't believe what I'm hearing here.
Phoebe: (sings)
- I can't believe what I'm hearing here...
Monica:
- What? I-I said you had a-
Phoebe: (sings)
- What I said you had...
Monica: (to Phoebe)
- Would you stop?
Phoebe:
- Oh, was I doing it again?
All:
- Yes!
Monica:
- I said that you had a nice butt, it's just not a great butt.
Joey:
- Oh, you wouldn't know a great butt if it came up and bit ya.
Ross:
- There's an image.
Rachel: (walks up with a pot of coffee)
- Would anybody like more coffee?
Chandler:
- Did you make it, or are you just serving it?
Rachel:
- I'm just serving it.
All:
- Yeah. Yeah, I'll have a cup of coffee.
Chandler:
- Kids, new dream... I'm in Las Vegas.
(Rachel sits down to hear Chandler's dream.)
Customer:
(To Rachel)
- Ahh, miss? More coffee?
Rachel:
- Ugh.
(To another customer that's leaving.)
- Excuse me, could you give this to that guy over there?
(Hands him the coffee pot.)
- Go ahead.
(He does so.)
- Thank you.
(To the gang.)
- Sorry. Okay, Las Vegas.
Chandler:
- Okay, so, I'm in Las Vegas... I'm Liza Minelli-
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