Friends Season 101 The One Where Monica Gets a New Roommate part3

The One Where Monica Gets a New Roommate part3
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, the guys are there assembling furniture.]

Ross: (squatting and reading the instructions)
- I'm supposed to attach a bracket thing to the side things, using a bunch of these little worm guys.
- I have no bracket thing, I see no worm guys whatsoever
- and- I cannot feel my legs.

(Joey and Chandler are finishing assembling the bookcase.)

Joey:
- I'm thinking we've got a bookcase here.

Chandler:
- It's a beautiful thing.

Joey: (picking up a leftover part)
- What's this?

Chandler:
- I would have to say that is an 'L'-shaped bracket.

Joey:
- Which goes where?

Chandler:
- I have no idea.

(Joey checks that Ross is not looking and dumps it in a plant.)

Joey:
- Done with the bookcase!

Chandler:
- All finished!

Ross: (clutching a beer can and sniffing)
- This was Carol's favorite beer.
- She always drank it out of the can, I should have known.

Joey:
- Hey-hey-hey-hey, if you're gonna start with that stuff we're outta here.

Chandler:
- Yes, please don't spoil all this fun.

Joey:
- Ross, let me ask you a question. She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV
- what did you get?

Ross:
- You guys.

Chandler:
- Oh, God.

Joey:
- You got screwed.

Chandler:
- Oh my God!

[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Paul are eating.]

Monica:
- Oh my God!

Paul:
- I know, I know, I'm such an idiot.
- I guess I should have caught on
- when she started going to the dentist four and five times a week.
- I mean, how clean can teeth get?

Monica:
- My brother's going through that right now, he's such a mess.
- How did you get through it?

Paul:
- Well, you might try accidentally breaking something valuable of hers,
- say her-

Monica:
- leg?

Paul: (laughing)
- That's one way! Me, I- I went for the watch.

Monica:
- You actually broke her watch?
- Wow! The worst thing I ever did was,
- I-I shredded my old boyfriend's favorite bath towel.

Paul:
- Ooh, steer clear of you.

Monica:
- That's right.

[Scene: Monica's Apartment, Rachel is talking on the phone and pacing.]

Rachel:
- Barry, I'm sorry... I am so sorry...
- I know you probably think that this is all about what I said
- the other day about you making love with your socks on,
- but it isn't... it isn't, it's about me, and I ju-
(She stops talking and dials the phone.)
- Hi, machine cut me off again... anyway...look, look,
-> cut off
- I know that some girl is going to be incredibly lucky
- to become Mrs. Barry Finkel, but it isn't me, it's not me.
- And not that I have any idea who me is right now,
- but you just have to give me a chance too...
(The maching cuts her off again and she redials.)

[Scene: Ross's Apartment; Ross is pacing while Joey and Chandler are working on some more furniture.]

Ross:
- I'm divorced! I'm only 26 and I'm divorced!

Joey:
- Shut up!

Chandler:
- You must stop!
(Chandler hits what he is working on with a hammer and it collapses.)

Ross:
- That only took me an hour.

Chandler:
- Look, Ross, you gotta understand,
- between us we haven't had a relationship that has lasted longer than a Mento.
- You, however have had the love of a woman for four years.
- Four years of closeness and sharing
- at the end of which she ripped your heart out,
- and that is why we don't do it!
- I don't think that was my point!

Ross:
- You know what the scariest part is?
- What if there's only one woman for everybody, y'know?
- I mean what if you get one woman- and that's it?
- Unfortunately in my case, there was only one woman- for her...

Joey:
- What are you talking about? 'One woman'?
- That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you.
- Let me tell you something, Ross. There's lots of flavors out there.
- There's Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Bean! Cherry Vanilla.
- You could get 'em with Jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream!
- This is the best thing that ever happened to you!
- You got married, you were, like, what, eight?
-> eight : 用來表示像8歲一樣
- Welcome back to the world! Grab a spoon!

Ross:
- I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny.

Chandler:
- Stay out of my freezer!